Early Years as a Single Parent: My Personal Reflection
The Early Years
A friend’s words stayed with me right after my daughter was born. As I held this tiny, perfect baby in my arms—my true wonder—I gushed about how much I loved her. And that gushing never stopped. My friend smiled every time I shared how in awe I was of her and said, “It only gets better; it only grows more.” Those words and just the thought of this made me sob—part hormones, part disbelief. I couldn’t imagine loving this sweet angel any more than I did in that moment. But she was right. The love grew. The cup overflowed again and again, and it hasn’t stopped.
Those early years? Far too short. Whenever I hear Kenny Chesney’s “Don’t Blink” it’s ugly-crying time—every time. (I know I’m not alone.) It’s funny how pregnancy seemed to last forever, yet once she arrived, time started racing. I had been a nesting machine—preparing the house, prepping the dogs, checking every box. But when the day finally came, nothing could truly prepare me. Nothing prepares you to stand at the start of motherhood—of parenthood—holding the weight of this new life, especially as a single parent.
Infancy was a blur of sleepless nights, hormonal fog, and so many insecurities. I vividly remember telling my sister, “I don’t think she likes me.” The truth? She was just being a baby—eating, sleeping, growing. Those first few months felt like a waiting game for true bonding. But then, one day, she smiled. A real smile, and I knew… ‘my little Evie’ was my forever, my true love!
Milestones and Worries
The milestones came quickly, one after another. First smile, first giggle, first time rolling over. First steps, first words, first time sleeping through the night. If I hadn’t written them down, they would’ve blurred together in the whirlwind. I worked hard to make notes of the firsts, but they sped by so quickly it was hard to keep up.
And the worries? Endless. I worried if I was doing things right. I worried about her cries, whether she was getting enough sleep, what kind of school she’d attend, and even about the day she’d leave home—long before that day ever came. Those early years were full of wonder, but also full of so much worry.
Now she’s through school, and guess what? The worries didn’t stop—they just changed.
I still can’t fall asleep without knowing where she is, that she’s safe, and that I’ve said “I love you” and “Goodnight.”
What moment are you in right now?
Pushing Through as a Solo Parent
Did what had to be done. Pushed through fear and exhaustion. Worked hard, slept little, carried the weight alone. There were plenty of tears. I spoke to my daughter as if she could understand every word. That early communication helped lay the groundwork for the relationship we have today. Baby talk wasn’t part of our world—she was spoken to like an adult. She learned to talk early, and now she’s an incredible speaker. Can’t take credit, but believe it made a difference.
Looking back, I wish I’d realized how fleeting those little routines moments were—the last time she curled up in my lap, the last time I rocked her to sleep, the last time I carried her in my arms, and the last bedtime story. If only I had known they were the last.
As the years go on, you’ll find that you and your child will reflect and feel nostalgic. I think it’s a little different from what a two-parent household experiences—you just treasure things a little differently, I think.
What I Wish I Knew Then
- I was stronger than I felt or gave myself credit for.
- Sleep is highly overrated. 😉
- Every stage is temporary.
- Say yes more often to the silly, more carefree moments.
Advice for Single Parents
Single parents carry a lot. It’s heavy. It’s overwhelming. But here’s what I want you to know: time will pass faster than you think. One day you’ll look back, wondering were the time went and how you made it through.
Don’t wish for things to be different. Don’t wish the hard moments away. Aim for happy moments, not perfect ones—and you’ll find a lot of happy ones this way! That 3 AM feeding when your little one gazes up at you with complete trust? Pure magic, even through your exhaustion. Treasure the baby smell, the tiny hands wrapped around your finger, the ‘firsts’, just treasure it all whether the bliss, the mundane, or the trying. It’s all such a gift and it all goes by so quick, so don’t blink or you may miss something.
Looking Back and Looking Forward
If I could go back, I’d be more present. I spent too much time worrying, missing moments as they passed me by. And I very sincerely say, be kind to yourself. Do the best you can. Your best is enough.
Put down the camera sometimes. Those perfectly filtered Instagram shots? They can’t capture the real magic. Instead, imprint those giggles, those tiny discoveries, those ordinary Tuesday afternoons directly onto your heart. Be there, fully.
In this era of curated perfection, remember that social media shows highlight reels, not reality. Your journey is uniquely yours – beautiful in its messiness and imperfection. Focus on your child, your relationship, your story. That’s where the real treasure lies.
What small joy will you savor today?
Cherish the Journey
The early years as a single parent are a whirlwind of love, worry, and milestones. There are struggles, yes—but also immeasurable joy, and a love that grows deeper every single day. Hold on to that. Work hard to be present. Savor the fleeting moments. Be kind to yourself.
This poem offers a poignant perspective on the journey of parenthood. ❤️
Kahlil Gibran
1883 –1931
And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, Speak to us of Children.
And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit,
not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you
with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
These years will pass all too quickly my One Parent Wonder, but the bond you’re creating will last a lifetime. I promise you.
Cherish the journey. Trust yourself. You’re doing better than you think. And always remember: it only gets better; the love and wonderment only grow more.
If this resonated in any way, I’d love to hear your story. Leave a comment or connect with me at One Parent Wonder.
Written by: Elena Patrice
Elena is a Single Parent Coach & Mentor, helping solo parents build strength, confidence, and connection.
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