The Early Years as a Single Parent
A friend’s words stayed with me right after my daughter was born. As I held this tiny, perfect baby in my arms—my true wonder—I gushed about how much I loved her. And that gushing never stopped. My friend smiled every time I shared how in awe I was of her and said, “It only gets better; it only grows more.” Her words made me sob—part hormones, part wonderment. I couldn’t imagine loving this sweet angel any more than I did in that moment. But she was right. The love grew. The cup overflowed again and again, and it hasn’t stopped. These early years as a single parent shape not just your child—but who you become along the way.
Those early years? Far too short. Whenever I hear Kenny Chesney’s “Don’t Blink” it’s ugly-crying time—every time. (I know I’m not alone.) It’s funny how I felt pregnant for so long, yet once she arrived, time started racing. I had been a nesting machine—preparing the house, prepping the dogs, checking every box. But when the day finally came, nothing could truly prepare me. Nothing prepares you to stand at the start of motherhood—of parenthood—holding the weight of this new life, especially as a single parent.
Infancy was a blur of sleepless nights, hormonal fog, and so many insecurities. I vividly remember telling my sister, “I don’t think she likes me.” The truth? She was just being a baby—eating, sleeping, growing. Those first six months felt like a waiting game. But then, one day, she smiled. A real smile. And from there, everything started changing—fast.
Milestones and Worries
The milestones came quickly, one after another. First smile, first giggle, first time rolling over. First steps, first words, first time sleeping through the night. If I hadn’t written them down, they would’ve blurred together in the whirlwind. I worked hard to make notes of the firsts, but they sped by so quickly it was hard to keep up.
And the worries? Endless. I worried if I was doing things right. I worried about her cries, whether she was getting enough sleep, what kind of school she’d attend, and even about the day she’d leave home—long before that day ever came. Those early years were full of wonder, but also full of so much worry.
Now she’s through school, and guess what? The worries didn’t stop—they just changed.
I still can’t fall asleep without knowing where she is, that she’s safe, and that I’ve said “I love you” and “Goodnight.”
What moment are you in right now?
Pushing Through as a Solo Parent
Did what had to be done. Pushed through fear and exhaustion. Worked hard, slept little, carried the weight alone. There were plenty of tears (hormones, mostly). Spoke to my daughter as if she could understand every word. That early communication helped lay the groundwork for the relationship we have today. Baby talk wasn’t part of our world—she was spoken to like an adult. She learned to talk early, and now she’s an incredible speaker. Can’t take credit, but believe it made a difference.
Looking back, I wish I’d realized how fleeting those little routines were—the last time she curled up in her baby swing, the last time I rocked her to sleep, the last time I carried her in my arms. If only I had known they were the last.
As the years go on, you’ll find that you and your child will reflect and feel nostalgic. I think it’s a little different from what a two-parent household experiences—you just treasure things a little differently.
What I Wish I Knew Then
- You’re stronger than you feel.
- Sleep will come back eventually.
- Every stage is temporary.
- Say yes to the silly moments.
Advice for Single Parents
Single parents carry a lot. It’s heavy. It’s overwhelming. But here’s what I want you to know: time will pass faster than you think. One day you’ll look back, amazed at where it went—and at how you made it through.
Don’t wish for things to be different. Don’t wish the hard moments away. Aim for happy moments, not perfect ones. Treasure the baby smell, the tiny hands wrapped around your finger. Half the clothes you thought you had to buy? Most of them—they’ll never wear. They grow too fast.
Be Present and Be Kind to Yourself
If I could go back, I’d be more present. I spent too much time worrying, missing moments as they passed me by. It’s not unusual—every parent does this. But if I could tell you one thing, it’s this: be kind to yourself. Do the best you can. And know that your best is enough.
Spend less time trying to capture every moment on camera, and more time imprinting those moments on your soul. Be present. Soak it in.
And in this bizarre era of social media and curated perfection, don’t compare your life, your child, or your situation to anyone else’s. Stay away from social media if you can. Focus on your life, your efforts, your child. Be a great parent to your great child. Every single situation is different, and comparison will only make it harder.
What small joy will you savor today?
Cherish the Journey
The early years as a single parent are a whirlwind of love, worry, and milestones. There are struggles, yes—but also immeasurable joy, and a love that grows deeper every single day. Hold on to that. Work hard to be present. Savor the fleeting moments. Be kind to yourself.
This poem offers a poignant perspective on the journey of parenthood.
These years will pass all too quickly, my One Parent Wonder, but the bond you’re creating will last a lifetime. I promise you.
Cherish the journey. Trust yourself. You’re doing better than you think. And always remember: it only gets better; the love and wonderment only grow more.
If this resonated in any way, I’d love to hear your story. Leave a comment or connect with me at One Parent Wonder.
