The Early Years
A friend’s words stuck with me right after my daughter was born. As I gushed about my love for this baby, she said, “It only gets better; it only grows more.” With hormones ruling my emotions, her words made me sob. I couldn’t imagine loving this sweet angel baby more than I did at that moment, but she was right. The love grew, and the cup overflowed time and time again and has yet to stop.
The Fleeting Early Years
Those early years were far too short. When I hear Kenny Chesney’s “Don’t Blink,” it’s ugly crying time, 100%! (I’m sure I’m not alone here.) It seemed like I was pregnant for a loooong time. It was amazing how much I accomplished prior, up until the day of my daughter’s arrival. I was a ‘nesting’ crazy woman and had well prepared my dogs for the big change. But when the day came, nothing could truly prepare me, no matter how prepared I thought I was, especially as a single parent. Infancy is an interesting time. Between dealing with hormonal craze and lack of sleep, much of it was blurry because it truly is such a short period of time. I remember telling my sister that I didn’t think my daughter liked me, but that’s because all babies do is eat and sleep for the first 6 months. After that period, you start seeing real smiles, and things change … rapidly.
Milestones and Worries
The years passed quickly, and I wished the early years lasted longer. Milestones came and went so fast that if you didn’t document them, they’d blur together. First steps, first words, first time sleeping through the night. And the worries – endless worries about doing things right, about their cries, about school, and even about when they’d leave home. I worried about it all in those early years. Now, my daughter is through school, and there’s a whole new set of worries.
Pushing Through as a Single Parent
I did what I had to do. I pushed through fears and reservations, slept little, and worked hard. I cried a lot (mostly from hormones!) and spoke to my daughter, Eve, like she could fully understand me. I believe that set the stage for our solid relationship. Baby talk wasn’t my thing, and I spoke to her like an adult. She learned to talk early and is a wonderful orator today. I don’t take credit for that, but I think it helped. I wish I could have treasured the last times I’d have her in her baby swing, rock her to sleep, and pick her up.
Advice for Single Parents
Single parents have a lot to carry, and it may feel overwhelming. But know this: time will pass quickly, and you’ll look back, amazed at where it went and how you made it through. Don’t wish for things to be different or for time to pass. Aim for happy moments, not perfect ones. Savor the baby smell and tiny hands wrapped around your finger. Half the clothes you have, they’ll never wear because they grow so fast.
Be Present and Kind to Yourself
As challenging as it was to handle those early years on my own, I wish I could go back and be more present. I was often wrapped up in worry and other things, not realizing how quickly it would pass. This isn’t unusual for any parent, but it’s something to pay attention to. Be kind to yourself and do the very best you can.
Spend more time enjoying the present moment than trying to capture it on camera. Be present; let those moments imprint your soul.
The early years as a single parent are a whirlwind of love, worries, and milestones. But amidst the struggles, there is immeasurable joy and a love that only grows stronger with time. Hold on to that. Work hard to be present, to savor the fleeting moments, and to truly be kind to yourself. These early years will pass all too quickly, but the memories and the bond you create with your child will last a lifetime. I promise you. Cherish the journey, trust yourself, and know you are doing better than you think. And always remember, it only gets better; it only grows more.
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